


You Held the Sun

by makoharuheartandsoul (narmeenypuff)



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, But mostly angst, Happy Ending, Hooker!Sousuke, M/M, Sousuke POV, Sousuke is just a perfect human being, Sousuke-centric, WARNING: ANGST !!!, Warning: Makoto's tears, Warning: Potentially dislikable Haru, implied bottom!Makoto, makoharu endgame, please dont hurt me, sexual SouMako, teensy bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 09:26:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6900385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narmeenypuff/pseuds/makoharuheartandsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke prides himself on being a professional, but even he can't stand by in the face of Makoto's tears - not when he can deliver the one person who can make him happy again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Held the Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PileOnThePink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PileOnThePink/gifts).



> Nicole -- I'm sorry this was so late, but Happy belated birthday!! :D I wanted to give you makoharu and bottom makoto and some sexy soumakos but instead I created this angsty mess. @_@ feel free to yell at me as much as you want ^-^
> 
>  
> 
> READ THE TAGS AND BE WARNED @_@ *hides self in bunker*

If someone had ever bothered to ask Sousuke, he would tell them that his favorite position was doggy style.

 

There was nothing more pleasing than watching as his balls slapped against someone’s ass - as he fed his dick to their greedy pink hole and thrusted as hard as he could just to see them clutch at the bed sheets hastily, so they didn’t go flying into the headboard.

 

But for some reason, when Makoto asks him that very question, he can’t bring himself to tell the truth.

 

“Missionary, of course,” Sousuke smoothly lies, and watches as Makoto’s bare shoulders relax.

 

“Me too,” Makoto smiles shyly. Sousuke says nothing in retaliation, even though he knows that it can’t be Makoto’s favorite. Oh, it was definitely his favorite when he was with _Sousuke_ \- because without Makoto’s glasses or contacts, Sousuke’s teal eyes can easily be mistaken as blue, and his dark hair is simply a blurry mess atop his head, that can represent any hairstyle.

 

Instead, Sousuke situates himself between Makoto’s thighs, and starts on round two.

 

* * *

  

“H-Haru, please… so close!” Makoto moans, throwing his head back in ecstasy. Sousuke expertly hums around his cock until he feels hot liquid spurt down the back of his throat.

 

The trick is to force the head of it as far back into his throat as he can, to avoid the unpleasant taste of semen. It was one of the first things Sousuke had learned, back in the day.

 

Makoto’s fingers twitch from where they are threaded into Sousuke’s hair, and he looks up from where he is resting his head on Makoto’s thigh. He can see it all – the glowing enrapture on that beautiful face, the ring of emerald green in his wistful eyes, and the horrifying, anguished tears that travel down his cheeks in rivulets.

 

“Don’t cry, Makoto,” Sousuke says, a bit harshly. He flinches at Makoto’s distressed sob – he’s always shit at acting like this Haru person that Makoto is so engrossed with. But that doesn’t mean he stops trying, and when he gathers Makoto into his arms and gently shushes him, he is rewarded with a confession.

 

“I love him so much,” Makoto trembles, his tears wetting Sousuke’s chest.

 

“I know,” Sousuke agrees, softly. If it were any of his other clients, he would call bullshit – but it’s different with Makoto. Makoto pays like anyone else, but Sousuke knows the money isn’t really for the sex. It’s for the companionship, for his almost-blue eyes and almost-black hair, and for the chance to forget for just a moment, that the love of his life is out of his reach.

 

Makoto’s trembling doesn’t stop, and Sousuke starts to panic. He instinctually swoops down and kisses him, but pulls back when Makoto’s lips don’t respond.

 

Makoto’s green eyes are as dull as the foreign paper bills he hands Sousuke at the end of their session.

 

Sousuke’s heart breaks for him.

 

* * *

 

Sousuke has no idea what Makoto sees in this man.

 

He’s nothing special, and maybe it’s his resentment for anyone who could hurt a soul as delicate as Makoto, even inadvertently – but even when Sousuke mentally detaches himself from it, all he sees is a lithe body and a pretty face framing deep stormy eyes that send eerie chills down his spine.

 

Haru looks up when he approaches. His obvious hostile demeanor is broken by a small bit of curiosity, that rapidly grows as he looks Sousuke up and down warily.

 

Sousuke sits down, and the momentary silence is heavy in the pub he invited Haru to meet at. He waits for Haru to say something, but the man before him surprises him with how stubborn he is. Sousuke can tell by the slight disgust in Haru’s eyes that he knows what Sousuke is, and decides he should just get to the point.

 

“Look, Haru-” Sousuke starts.

 

“-Nanase.” The blue-eyed man quietly cuts in. His voice is soft, but it’s laced with a sort of disorienting, charismatic power.

 

Sousuke grits his teeth. He would have called him by his last name, if he knew what it was. But now he’s just pissed off, so he throws his precautions out the window and says it as it is.

 

“Nanase,” he nods, faking his pleasant tone. “I just wanted to let you know, that I fuck Makoto every night.”

 

When Nanase’s hardened eyes widen, those stormy depths clearing until there is only _pain_ , Sousuke curses under his breath and regrets his harsh words.

 

“Wait,” he calls, when Nanase shakily stands up. He looks pale, and Sousuke suspects he had been about to find a nice porcelain throne to spend the rest of his days retching in.

 

He can’t bear to look at the agony in Nanase’s eyes, so he addresses his shoulder instead. In these few short minutes, he has come to realize that Nanase hides a small ocean inside those blue eyes, and the unwelcoming scowls and glares are his way of concealing it.

 

“Makoto is in love with you,” Sousuke says, and somehow the words sound like he’s declaring war. They are powerful words, after all - words that could change a man’s life, or end it.

 

“I don’t deserve him,” Haru immediately shoots back, with a terrifying vehemence. And in that moment, Sousuke _knows_ that Nanase knows the depth of Makoto’s feelings – and had done nothing about it.

 

“No, you don’t,” Sousuke growls. _You little shit,_ he thinks, and just barely holds the words in. _You held the sun in the palm of your hands, and let its light die out for your own trivial insecurities._ “But… _Makoto_ deserves what he wants – and that something is you.”

 

Their eyes meet, and Sousuke witnesses the moment his words destroy Nanase.

  

* * *

 

Sousuke tries to sip at his whisky, but some conversations cannot be had while sober.

 

Unless one is Nanase, whose glass of water has so far gone untouched.

 

“Do you… like him?” Nanase forces himself to ask. He looks tortured, and Sousuke cannot help but show him kindness.

 

"I'm a professional," Sousuke scoffs and casually leans back in his chair. His legs are wide open, his posture perfectly orchestrated to accentuate his package. If Nanase doesn’t believe his words, then his body language practically screams the fact.

 

Nanase narrows his eyes. Even while miserable and agonized, he has some bite to him.

 

“You might lose Makoto, as a…” Nanase trails off, his eyes averting to the glass of water in front of him, as if it could give him strength. He takes a deep breath. “You’re trying to help him, even though…”

 

Nanase can’t even say it, but Sousuke isn’t annoyed, not anymore. He knows it’s hard for him to say it out loud – to make it _real_.

 

But if Nanase has any chance with Makoto, it’s something he needs to accept.

 

“I will likely lose him as a client.”

 

“Will you lose him as… more?” Nanase asks again, and Sousuke isn’t sure if he’s brave or stupid.

 

“It’s nothing like that,” Sousuke sighs, and takes a large gulp of his whisky. It’s odd, how the burn soothes him. He thinks of Makoto – of the undeniable desperation that shines in his eyes when Sousuke fucks him, and the way his insides clench like they’re trying to keep him there forever. But it was never Sousuke that Makoto wanted, and Sousuke never deluded himself into believing otherwise. He can’t ignore that there are strong feelings between them, but it has never been romantic. When he envisions Makoto, he sees dull eyes and a broken smile, and feelings of fierce protectiveness weave through his body. He hasn’t lied to Nanase – but if he ended his explanation like that, he would be.

 

“I just… need him to be happy. I know I can’t do it, and that’s why I’m here. You’re an asshole, but if you can make his eyes light up again and give him back his smile, then it’s worth it.” Sousuke pauses, then shrugs awkwardly, as if it could make his words any less heavy.

 

Blue eyes glitter at him in determination.

 

What Sousuke doesn’t say is that _anything_ would be worth it to bring that smile back, but it’s okay, because he’s sure that Nanase is thinking the very same thing.

 

* * *

 

Nanase is tense as he follows Sousuke through the extravagant walls of the hotel. Everything that has needed to be said has already been spoken, and now it’s time for action.

 

They pause outside the room Sousuke has booked for tonight’s session. He knows Makoto is waiting inside for him as usual, with no idea that Sousuke has effectively meddled with his life. It’s unprofessional, but Sousuke doesn’t care.

 

Nanase nods to him, and Sousuke leads the way.

  

* * *

 

“H-Haru? What are you...?” Makoto gasps and stumbles backwards. He glances between them, his eyes fearful and betrayed, yet strangely hopeful.

 

And that’s when Sousuke realizes that he has done the right thing. If Makoto can still look at Nanase with that dazzling hope, and Nanase can stand to be here, in the place where his replacement has slowly been fucking the light out of Makoto’s eyes, then they truly have a chance together.

 

Nanase steps forward, and from then on they only have eyes for each other.

 

“You don’t have to pretend anymore,” Nanase says quietly. His voice cracks, but with the way Makoto is looking at him, Sousuke is convinced that Nanase could have been covered in dog shit for all Makoto cared. Sousuke can barely believe this is the same person he met in the pub. When Nanase is with Makoto, he is… _soft_. And suddenly Sousuke can understand why Makoto loves him so much.

 

Makoto’s eyes fill with tears, and he sobs Nanase’s name.

 

“I’m here now,” Nanase whispers, cupping Makoto’s cheeks in his palms. “I’m here, and I’ll _always_ be here.”

 

It’s certainly not a huge declaration of love – but somehow it _is_. It’s everything, and it’s perfect, and when their lips meet Sousuke’s chest feels warm and fuzzy and he quietly leaves the room before anyone can witness his sappy tears.

 

* * *

 

“Sousuke!” Makoto’s voice echoes in the hotel lobby.

 

Sousuke turns around, and there is Makoto, holding hands with Nanase. He gets the feeling that it’s rare to see one without the other – their linked hands seem like they’re made for each other, like they’re two halves of a whole.

 

“Thank you,” Makoto says sincerely, his green eyes lighting up as if fully charged with all of the earth’s energy, and Sousuke is rendered speechless, because _there is that smile_. It is the first time he’s seen it in its full potential, and it is as radiant as he has always imagined.

 

And then he turns to Nanase, whose blue eyes seems revitalized and breathtakingly beautiful as he devotedly gazes at Makoto from under the fringe of his hair.

 

He wants to roll his eyes, or smirk, or anything that could mask the feeling of giddy satisfaction inside him, but he settles with fighting to keep a grin off his face.

 

“Anytime, Makoto. Take care of him, Nanase,” he says without much conviction, because he knows Nanase will this time.

 

“You can call me Haru,” Nanase offers, with a cheeky smirk.

 

Sousuke scoffs, but doesn’t fight his smile this time.

 

* * *

 

**Epilogue:**

 

_Sousuke,_

_It’s only fair that we meddle with your life, since you meddled with ours._

_Makoto told me about your shoulder – about why you got into your current line of work._

_I have a friend that can help you, he runs a sports rehab facility, and he's always looking for more people to help. It isn’t professional swimming, but it's one step closer to it._

_Haru_

 

_P.S. Hi, it's Makoto! Haru won't admit it, but he says thank you. I do too. Seriously, I can't thank you enough. Drinks on Friday? Haru says he knows a place you'll love!_

 

Sousuke startled as another email vibrated his phone, and he cursed as he fumbled and almost dropped it. The new email was from Haru again, this time with an attachment.

 

It was a flier, with big bolded letters exclaiming it was _Matsuoka's Medicine and Rehabilitation Centre_ , complete with an absolutely _gorgeous_ redhead smirking up at Sousuke. 

 

Sousuke ran his eyes appreciatively over the man’s toned body, which was bare from the waist up and obviously a ploy to get the public’s attention – and Sousuke could admit that it was a genius move. 

 

He scrolled down to the bottom of the email, and was surprised to see more lines of text:

 

_Your interview is at 7 tomorrow._

_His name is Rin._

 

Sousuke rolled his eyes fondly, feeling his heart flutter oddly in anticipation. 

**Author's Note:**

> SOUSUKE IS TOO PERFECT GOD DAYUM 
> 
> ALSO IM SORRY @_@
> 
> Thank you haileybuns for the beta!! :D (aka your crazy reactions that i love and help me tag things <333)
> 
> Thank you for reading, lovelies!! :D <3 Kudos and comments make me giggle and blush and are very much appreciated!! :3 <3
> 
> Come gush with me over swimming babies on tumblr at [makoharuheartandsoul](http://www.makoharuheartandsoul.tumblr.comhttp://www.makoharu.me)! :D <3


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